3 Ways to Overcome Extreme Social Anxiety

Being shy in a group or sweating before a presentation is normal for most people, but for some, being in a social setting causes extreme social anxiety, a debilitating disorder that renders the individual unable to perform day-to-day life. For those suffering from this type of anxiety, there is an intense fear of looking shameful or being embarrassed in front of other people and experiencing judgment and rejection.

Some of the physical symptoms that go hand in hand with extreme social anxiety include blushing, excessive perspiration, trembling, dizziness, stuttering, “butterflies” in the stomach, and other symptoms commonly experienced when a person is nervous.

The disorder can start at any age but typically begins in the mid-teens. It becomes further entrenched as the symptoms ultimately lead to the feared results, a self-fulfilling prophecy in many respects.

Individuals who develop extreme social anxiety tend to avoid situations where they might be triggered. They could become reclusive, stay at home, and binge-watch television rather than choose socializing with friends. They might even use alcohol to take the edge off of their fears.

While avoidance can help keep symptoms at bay, it does not solve the long-term problem of anxiety. It can even, ultimately, make it worse. We are born to be in community with people and this solution only leads to loneliness, depression, and further anxiety.

Sometimes extreme social anxiety is treated by counselors with the use of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and medication. Biblical counselors will talk therapy containing biblical truths that speak directly to the root cause of this mental condition and also offer a life-giving cure. A Christian counselor will work with an individual to overcome extreme social anxiety, with the following three principles:

Recognize the fear for what it is

The great truth that will lead to freedom from social anxiety begins with an uncomfortable reality. The Bible does not use compliments to build up our self-esteem, but instead, it delivers a blow to the heart – a sinful heart. In Proverbs 25:29, we are warned: “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.”

While the desire to be accepted and appreciated is not wrong, when it becomes all-important, to the point where it prevents us from interacting with others, then the fear has likely become an idol. We fear man more than we fear God. Recognizing extreme social anxiety as being rooted in this fear and idolatry is the first step toward recovery and healing.

Turn to God in trust

As with all idols, the issue is that we have dethroned God in the process of putting someone or something else in its place. Where social anxiety has gotten out of control, the fear is likely interfering with the ability to love God and love other people. The individual is completely consumed with self-focus, even though it feels completely beyond their realm of control.

The second half of Proverbs 25:29 offers a wonderful refuge and action that goes in direct opposition to the fear of man, and that is in putting one’s trust in God. The result is finding safety which is exactly what someone with extreme social anxiety is desperately searching for.

Trusting God can feel like an intangible, ethereal lifeline when we let our feelings dictate. We should rather study and understand God’s character in His Word. A biblical counselor might take a counselee through a study on Hebrews 11, which looks at the heroes of the faith and how they overcame through faith, “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)

Take small steps of faith

By using Scripture to renew your mind, you can overcome extreme social anxiety with small actionable steps. For example, you could meditate on Philippians 4:5-6 and then choose one brave step. “Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.”

After meditating on that, you can use it as fuel to make one, brave, obedient step. If you are a student, challenge yourself to ask a question during a course lecture, or invite a friend for a coffee. When that small task has been achieved, confidence starts to build, and greater victories can be won.

Scripture tells us that, “Love comes from God,” (1 John 3:7, NIV) and “There is no fear in love,” (1 John 4:18, NIV). Therefore, extreme social anxiety is not something that the Lord desires for us to live within our lives. Through His power, we can face our fears, and rely on Him and not ourselves. We can find freedom and true confidence.

Getting help for extreme social anxiety

Making these bold, new moves may not be easy for someone with extreme social anxiety. Perhaps the thought of it is completely overwhelming. Thankfully, you do not have to do it alone.

A Christian counselor in Los Angeles can be a great support in helping you explore the roots of your anxiety and fear. If this sounds familiar, reach out to our office at Los Angeles Christian Counseling today and we will connect you to one of the Christian counselors in our directory. They will be eager to walk the journey with you.