Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is more common than you might think but it’s a topic that is often very difficult to talk about. There can be confusion about what sexual abuse actually includes, so a sexual abuse definition can be helpful to understand your own experiences – or the experiences of your loved ones.

The definition of sexual abuse includes words such as molestation, rape,and sexual assault. What this means is that sexual abuse is any kind of unwanted sexual activity. Physical force doesn’t have to be used – and this is one of the biggest misconceptions about sexual abuse.

People assume that there has to be physical force for it to be abuse, and this can lead to victims feeling that they are in some way to blame for what has happened to them. This is simply not true. All of the following are signs of sexual abuse:

• Someone touching you intimately when you don’t want them to
• Sexual penetration against your wishes
• Someone manipulating you or forcing you to engage in sexual acts that you don’t want to do

Someone taking advantage of you when you’re vulnerable (such as when you’re under the influence of alcohol)

Are there different types of sexual abuse?

There are a number of different types of sexual abuse. Many people immediately think of childhood sexual abuse, but this is just one of the possible types of sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is a broad category that includes:

• Child sexual abuse
• Sexual assault
• Incest
• Drug-facilitated sexual assault (date-rape)
• Sexual abuse by medical professionals
• Sexual exploitation by helping professionals
• Sexual abuse of people with disabilities
• Multiple-perpetrator sexual assault (gang rape)
• Sexual harassment
• Indecent exposure

As well as these different kinds of sexual abuse, there are also subtypes of sexual abuse:

• Subtle– children who are exposed to inappropriate sexual images or inappropriate sexual talk by their caregivers may be victims of subtle sexual abuse
• Confusing – someone who is sexually abused by a trusted family member or close friend, or someone in authority, may experience much more confusion and guilt and shame because of what has happened
• Overt – with overt sexual abuse (which tends to include rape by strangers), it’s obvious what has happened, and people who are victims of this kind of abuse are more likely to seek help immediately
• Ritualistic – the most damaging and destructive type of sexual abuse is ritual sexual abuse, and this takes place over many years. Satanic ritualistic torture, manipulation,and other horrific traumas are part of this type of abuse, which can lead to the fracturing of the psyche and Dissociative Identity Disorder

What are the signs of sexual abuse in children?

Sexual abuse in children can often be difficult to spot, so it’s important for parents, educators,and caregivers to be aware of the telltale signs that a child is being sexually abused. Some of these are more obvious than others and not all victims of child sexual abuse will display all the signs. In a general sense, changes in behavior and/or patterns in behavior can be indicators that something is wrong.

Signs of sexual abuse in children include:

• Becoming withdrawn and unusually quiet
• Greater levels of fear and anxiety
• Hypervigilance
• Symptoms of PTSD
• Nightmares
• Other sleep disturbances, such as being overly tired
• Panic attacks
• Depression
• Crying and/or tearfulness
• Emotional apathy
• Agitation and aggression
• Guilt and shame
• Bed wetting or soiling
• Pain in the genital areas, the anus, or difficulty swallowing
• Fear of intimacy
• Excessive or inappropriate touching
• Sexual promiscuity
• Sexual acting out
• Animal abuse or cruelty
• Age-inappropriate knowledge of sex
• Disturbing types of play (such as acting out their abuse)
• Disturbing creative expression – in drawings and paintings, stories, journal entries,and social media
• Power and control issues
• Attention seeking behavior
• Hygiene issues
• Running away
• Alcohol and/or drug abuse
• Sexual or gender identity confusion

People who experienced childhood sexual abuse often grow up into adulthood with complex issues and difficulties such as shame, guilt, depression, anxiety,and problems with alcohol or drug dependency. This is particularly the case if the abuse has never been dealt with (such as through counseling).

There are many different lasting effects of sexual abuse in childhood. These can be emotional and physical effects that impact significantly on your ability to function, or they may be less severe but nonetheless keep you from living a fulfilled life. The lasting effects of sexual abuse can be broken into different categories.

Self-Esteem

• Feelings of worthlessness
• Shame
• Feeling ‘dirty’ or ‘bad’
• Difficulties taking care of yourself
• Perfectionism

Feelings

• Feeling like you’re going crazy
• Difficulty in knowing how you feel
• Difficulty distinguishing between feelings
• Being afraid of your own feelings
• Being afraid of being out of control
• Only having a limited range of feelings – such as angry, frustrated, miserable
• Depression
• Anxiety

Your Body

• Feeling disconnected from your body
• Difficulty listening to your body’s signals
• Body image issues
• Physical difficulties that may have been caused by long-term abuse
• Self harming or self-abusive behaviors

Intimacy

• Difficulty trusting others
• Being afraid of people
• Feeling lonely and alienated
• Commitment issues
• Fear of letting people get too close
• Fear of abandonment
• Repeatedly forming relationships with people who are not good for you (or are abusive)

Sexuality

• Feeling like you’re being sexually exploited all the time
• Difficulty ‘staying present’ when having sex
• Feelings of panic or being numb during sex
• Avoiding sex
• Flashbacks during sex

When you’ve experienced sexual abuse, the trauma has an impact on your brain. For example, your brain makes connections between the place where the abuse happened and the trauma of the abuse, which can cause flashbacks to be triggered by that place.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is very common in people who have experienced sexual abuse and childhood sexual abuse. Symptoms of PTSD in victims of sexual abuse can vary and these symptoms are not always obvious. They include:

• Extreme reactions to intimacy
• Fear of being emotionally close to people
• Feeling physically and emotionally numb
• Flashbacks
• Nightmares
• Anxiety
• Anger
• Self-hatred
• Avoidance
• Hypervigilance

What treatment and recovery options are available for victims of sexual abuse?

For victims of sexual abuse recovery can seem like an impossible dream, but with the right treatment, it is possible for people to reclaim their lives and escape from the feelings of shame, blame, anxiety (and so on). It can be really difficult to take the first steps toward healing, however.

While medication can be prescribed for PTSD symptoms and symptoms of depression and anxiety, the most effective means of treating victims of sexual abuse is therapeutic. Counseling gives you the space to talk about what happened to you with an experienced counselor who can help you untangle your feelings and fears.

Counseling helps you to express your emotions and deal with damaging thoughts and behaviors that are impacting on your quality of life. It can take a long time, but a Christian counselor in Los Angeles can guide you throughout the process.

The goal of Christian counseling for sexual abuse is to set you on a path towards hope and healing. Christian counseling in Los Angeles can help you to:

• Understand how you have been affected long-term by sexual abuse, whether the abuse happened in childhood or adulthood
• Understand your behaviors and emotions
• Deal with (process) the memories you have of the abuse so that they have less control over your thoughts and actions
• Stop blaming yourself for what happened
• Learn tools to help you manage Post Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms
• Understand how sexual abuse can lead to dissociative disorders, and how you can cope with symptoms of dissociation
• Deal with issues you have with trust and intimacy so that you can experience more fulfilled relationships.

Los Angeles Christian Counseling can also help children and teens to heal from sexual abuse. Specialists in helping children and teens process their feelings and experiences, a Christian counselor in LA can help your child or teen to talk about what happened, express their emotions and rebuild their self-esteem.

Bringing Christ into the counseling experience can help adult and child victims of sexual abuse to embark on a healing journey. Working with a Christian counselor in Los Angeles enables you to experience God’s comfort and helps you to understand that you are never alone as you work through the trauma and aftermath of sexual abuse.

Start your journey towards recovery today

At Los Angeles Christian Counseling, our counselors understand the devastating impact that sexual abuse can have on your life. We want to see you healed and restored and living in freedom. Christian counseling in Los Angeles can help you to start living your life as God intended you to live. Contact us to find out more about how we can help you begin your restoration.