Grief Counseling

Losing someone close to you is devastating.It is difficult to imagine that the loved one, an important part of your life, is no longer around. Even if it has been years since you last met, the news of it, especially if the loved one was very close to you, is enough to shatter one’s heart.

Though it had been 15 years since they last saw one another, the sudden death of Frankie took Jimmy by surprise. As kids, they were not always on good terms, but they were still brothers. As adults, Jimmy always prayed for the best for his older brother. But now he was gone and Jimmy never got to share how much his brother meant to him.

Loss and grief, however, are not just limited to death. There are other forms that also take their toll on the mind, body, and spirit.

Cassandra always believed she was destined for great things. After 7 long years, news had come out that the managerial position would be opening up at the end of the year. So she worked hard, prayed even harder, and did everything ethically and legally possible to get the position. But in the end, she didn’t. A younger employee, Judy, got it.Cassandra was devastated. All that time and energy wasted!

The following are some forms of loss that may be difficult to bear:

• Death of a close loved one (e.g. immediate family member, good friend);
• End of a friendship (e.g. separation, betrayal);
• Broken romantic relationship;
• The demise of a pet;
• Permanent disability (e.g. loss of the senses, amputation of a limb);
• Major, unwanted changes in life (e.g. migration, loss of job); or
• Loss of a personal dream or goal.

During such trying times, life can really seem confusing and hopeless. For some, they may even believe that God does not care about them or even exist. This causes them to question their situation, possibly leading to further complications in life.

Grief and Loss’ Effects on Thoughts and Behavior

Grief and loss can significantly impact a person’s mental and emotional state. Depending on the circumstances of the loss, the resulting effects may severely hamper the person’s ability to function normally again.

After losing her dad to diabetic complications, Shirley had difficulty functioning at home and school as she missed him terribly. It just wasn’t his time yet, he wasn’t even 50! To make things worse, her mom was now out of the house 7 days a week working, leaving her to take care of her two younger siblings. This was proving to be difficult and irritating as there was no longer a disciplinarian to keep the youngsters in line. Life was so unfair!

The following are some very common, negative, grief-related thoughts:

• It’s all my fault.
• I should have been there.
• I should have done more.
• I feel so alone.
• Who will take care of me now?
• How could God be so cruel?
• What is the point of living now?

The following are some very common, negative, grief-related behaviors:

• Very long bouts of crying;
• Lengthy periods of isolation from loved ones;
• Lashing out at others;
• Not going to school or work;
• Neglect of household and family responsibilities;
• Continuous questioning of God’s goodness or existence; and
• Endangering oneself or others.

Complicated Grief

While many who are grief-stricken are able to eventually recover in due time, there are those who become stuck in grief. A person with complicated grief is still overwhelmed by the loss even after a year has gone by. The following may characterize a sufferer of complicated grief:

• Always sad;
• Longs for what or who was lost;
• Regularly thinks about the circumstances of the loss;
• Avoids reminders (e.g. pictures, places, music) of what or who was lost;
• Is no longer enthusiastic about former routines or leisurely pursuits; or
• Is usually bitter or angry.

Traumatic Loss

When a loss is unexpected, violent, or tragic, then a person may experience a traumatic loss.This is a very difficult form of loss as it leaves the person with emotional, mental, and physical pain. This may sometimes cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which leads the person to:

• Relive the traumatic event through flashbacks, nightmares, or memories;
• Consciously avoid reminders of the trauma;
• Become overly sensitive to certain stimuli, making them angry, fearful, or nervous; or
• Have difficulty sleeping.

After experiencing a loss or setback of any kind, it is normal to experience intense feelings of sadness, anger, or confusion. What is NOT normal is when a person becomes stuck in this negative state, causing destructive thoughts and behaviors that affect themselves or others around them.

It had been months since Edmond ran off with the secretary, but Nathalie still could not get out of bed to deal with life. Why did he leave?! What did she do wrong?! Who was going to help and love her now?! The bank funds had dwindled already and she had lost her job three months back for not coming in.The kids were with her mom. It was better that way.She didn’t have the strength to raise them anymore.

Though grief and loss are natural parts of life, not everyone can recover on their own despite the caring presence of loved ones. You may need professional help if you:

• Constantly feel guilty, angry, bitter, or depressed about what happened;
• Have difficulty thinking or concentrating because of the loss;
• Feel detached from others, especially loved ones, for more than a month;
• Are not able to function normally anymore at home, school, or work;
• Can no longer trust others because of what happened;
• Believe that life has become pointless; or
• Have suicidal thoughts or recurring visions of death.

If any of the above describes your current state, know that Christian counseling in the LA area is available to help you. We at Los Angeles Christian Counseling are committed to helping others recover from their grief with God’s help.

It is very difficult to overcome the emotional, mental, and spiritual pain after a major loss in life. This is why professional help is often sought out. In counseling, the therapist uses proven techniques to help the person face the heart breaking situation and come out on top.

Christian counseling does the same thing but takes it one step further by incorporating the healing power and wisdom of God through prayer and the reading of Scripture. Without God’s help and wisdom, truly overcoming such a loss will be very difficult indeed.

Why Choose Los Angeles Christian Counseling

Every person’s experience with grief and loss is unique which is why there are many different methods to help heal a person. The experienced counselors at Los Angeles Christian counseling will meet the person at whatever stage of grief they are in and apply the right counseling tools best suited for them. But more importantly, we are committed to connecting the sufferer to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is through faith and prayer that they can work through the sadness, disappointment, or regret and move towards acceptance, healing, and peace.

In the case of a deceased loved one, Christian counseling helps a person to:

• Accept the loss;
• Understand and work through grief;
• Adjust to life without the departed one; and
• Continue honoring the departed in a healthy way.

In other cases of major loss, Christian counseling helps a person to:

• Process their complex emotions;
• Accept the new reality; and
• View their future options with hope and positivity.

As faith-based counselors, we know that if the spirit has healed and has learned to trust in God’s goodness and divine plan, then the person can move forward while continuing to honor who or what was lost. In Christ, all things are possible, regardless of the magnitude of the situation.

When will the sadness end?

Each person deals with grief at a unique pace. Patience and understanding are necessary on the part of the one grieving and the people around them. Christian counseling, however, can help a person move past this at a faster pace than just grieving alone. The Christian counselor will also introduce the tools needed to deal with future bouts of sadness should they occur later on.

Can Christian counseling help my grieving child?

Yes, it can.Children, of course, need the loving support of their parents and other loved ones through such a terrible time. But if your child is stuck in their grief or is having trouble processing the situation, you should consider Christian counseling for children or Christian family counseling.

Which Christian counselor should I get?

For grief and loss, you will need a Christian counselor with experience in dealing with this. You should also consider the circumstances of the loss: Was there trauma involved? Did depression set in? Are the other family members seriously affected?

At the Los Angeles Christian Counseling website, you may view the detailed profiles of a number of Christian counselors to see who best suits your needs.

Find Peace Again After A Loss. Seek Help Soon.

When a loss occurs in life, it may seem like all hope is lost. Know that this is not true and that you can have a life filled with hope, joy, and peace. If you are in or nearby LA, Los Angeles Christian counseling is here to help. You can speak to us personally in a risk-free initial session to see what you need and how we can help. Alternatively, you may give us a call at (949) 386-7182 or contact us online to inquire.