Family Counseling

Every now and then, every family undergoes a challenge that threatens to ruin the family bond. For some, after much argument and discussion, the issue is eventually ironed out. Yet, there are situations when the difficulty is not easily resolved. Let’s look at some examples of family problems:

Despite assurances that things would be ok, Sofia could see that her daughter, Emma, was having difficulty adjusting to the new family setup. Emma was okay with her stepfather,Dan, but she was jealous of the attention the two younger boys were receiving.

Emma’s grades were dropping and she wasn’t her jolly self anymore. Every time Sofia tried to speak to her, she got the cold shoulder. Though a time for adjustment was understandable, it was very frustrating and alarming that Emma would react so negatively to the presence of her stepbrothers.

For years, Olivia’s parents had argued about money. Her mom was addicted to gambling – bingo, the lottery, mah-jong, poker, and the slot machines. Every time she got her hands on the family budget, as her father worked overseas, a big portion was always siphoned away. And when you confronted her, she always pulled the emotional “mom card,” saying that it was her right to use the money since she chose not to work just to take care of everyone. Her mom just couldn’t see or didn’t care that their family life was difficult because of the needless spending.

Family conflict should NOT be allowed to fester. It does not just hurt relationships, it breaks them. If there are unresolved conflicts at home, counseling should be sought out before family ties are broken. But counseling is not just for ongoing quarrels, it is also very helpful for major family changes. The following are some of the common issues that families seek help for:

• Behavioral problems in school or at home;
• Conflict between the spouses;
• Major quarrels among-st siblings;
• Mental illness or substance abuse in the family;
• Concerns within blended families;
• Difficult family transitions (e.g. career changes, moving elsewhere);
• Helping adults that grew up in dysfunctional families;
• Problems with the family’s spiritual development.

How Christian Family Counseling Helps

In Christian family counseling, all aspects of the family dynamics are examined. From there, solutions are offered to help the family become stronger and proactive in positively dealing with issues. The family counselors at Los Angeles Christian Counseling are well-experienced in dealing with a host of family issues, so much will be learned.

But as faith-based counselors, particular emphasis will be on how the family actively incorporates faith, prayer, and God’s Word in their daily activities. Without God’s help, a beautiful marriage and family life is impossible. Your counselor will offer ways for your family to once again come to Christ so that your family will be whole once more, collectively and individually.

How it is Done

As healthy communication is key in all families, the Christian family counselor will act as an unbiased mediator to hear all sides.In this safe and neutral environment, family members will get to air their grievances, give suggestions, and voice desires.

Depending upon the concern, this may be done as a group right away or with certain individuals first. Regardless, the family counselor will always adjust to find what works best for everyone involved. No family is the same so the exact approach will always depend on the situation at hand.

Aside from resolving the issues the family is facing, the Christian family counselor aims to heal the family as a whole, not just the member who may be struggling. As a connected unit, one member’s struggle affects the others so family restoration is needed. The following are some specific goals of Christian family counseling:

• Restore trust and emotional bonds;
• Improve the communication and understanding amongst members;
• Strengthen the bond between immediate family members;
• Develop better relationships with extended family or multiple families.

Dynamics Between the Spouses

The way the spouses interact greatly affects the entire family. If the relationship is loving and strong, the children feel safe, secure, and hopeful that challenges like money issues or family sickness can be overcome. But when the relationship is rocky, there is much tension, apprehension, and confusion in the household.

A bad marital relationship, however, not only affects the family life now, it also affects how the children view marital life, possibly skewing their thoughts of marital commitment, parenting, and family love.

If the family wishes to be strong, the spouses’ relationship should be a loving one.If there are difficulties in the marriage, Christian marriage counseling can be a big help.But if you wish to discuss the overall effects of your marriage on your family, then Christian family counseling is the better choice.

Dynamics of the Parents with the Children

As an important part of family life, parenting is an area that most people would like to succeed in. Unfortunately, as the children grow, the challenges grow as well, often leaving parents feeling unwanted, ignored, or inept.Likewise, when the children believe that their parents are too busy for them, they feel unloved, unsupported, or pressured to get their parents to notice them. In many cases, this vicious circle of disappointment from both sides leads to a slew of issues such as anxiety, depression, disciplinary problems, failing grades, or substance abuse.

Christian family counseling can help both sides to open up about what is bothering them. In a neutral environment, communication awkwardness can be overcome as a mediator is there to facilitate the discussion and offer unbiased solutions.

Dynamics between Extended and Nuclear Families

Ensuring that all is well in the immediate (nuclear) family –between the spouses, and between the parents and children–is the usual and most important priority. Sometimes, however, the needs of extended family intrude upon the peace of the nuclear family. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, and nieces can interfere with the nuclear family’s plans or be the cause of issues (e.g. unresolved quarrels, borrowing of money) that disrupt the harmony at home.

Christian family counseling is a way to resolve such problems without driving extended family away. In a controlled setting, issues can be discussed, emotions released, and forgiveness extended and received so that all is well once again.

Counseling for Loss and Grief

A death in the family can really take a toll on the emotional, spiritual, and even financial health of the family. Loss affects each family member in a different way, depending upon the closeness of the relationship. When not addressed, anxiety or depression may set in, adversely affecting how someone functions.

In most cases, young children are hit hard, particularly if the one who died is a parent, as they still do not understand the reality of death. For adults, the loss of a spouse or a child can really cause people to question their spiritual beliefs.

Christian family counseling can help families recover from the death of a loved one. With faith and prayer, members will learn how to work through the pain, accept the loss, and honor the memory of those who have passed away.

Health Problems in the Family

Another major cause of worry and struggle in the family is the health of a loved one. This could be a disability (mental or physical), psychological trauma, chronic or terminal illness, or the need for major surgery. Aside from the emotional toll, health problems often involve financial struggle, which adds an additional element of sacrifice from all members, with some even guiltily wondering if it is worth it to spend so much on a seemingly hopeless case.

Christian family counseling can help the family process their internal worries and fears about the health issue in a positive way. Family members are also taught how to reach out to one another for emotional support and how to handle the new financial constraints. But most importantly, it reconnects them to our all-powerful God who may grant healing and comfort to those who seek Him.

Addiction in the Family

Similar to a health problem, but with a graver impact upon the family, addiction can really devastate the entire family unit. The different forms of addiction (e.g. alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, pornography, or sex) can affect members emotionally, spiritually, and monetarily. If the level of severity is very high, relationships can be torn apart if the addiction is not checked early on.

In Christian family counseling, all members are asked to confront the issue with love, knowing that the addicted person is still an integral part of the family. Emotional and spiritual support is given to all involved to ensure that the family ties remain strong. The counselors at Los Angeles Christian Counseling have years of experience dealing with chemical dependency, eating disorders, pornographic addiction, and sex addiction so your loved ones are in good hands.

Transitions in Life

Major life changes, expected or unexpected, are also a cause of conflict in the family. Career changes; the birth of a child; migration to another city or country; the moving out of children for work, studies, or marriage; or other added responsibilities (e.g. caring for sick or elderly family members) can upset the normal flow of family life, especially when there is resistance from someone in the family.

Christian family counseling can help family members positively understand their new situation so that internal conflict may be resolved. If the event is still to come, counseling beforehand can help members accept the new reality, emotionally and spiritually, so that the transition is smooth.

Family Conflicts on Faith

The expression of faith and continued spiritual development are very necessary for nurturing a healthy, Christ-centered family. As members worship, pray, and study the Bible together, their family bond grows stronger. Life itself becomes more directed and less frightening as they come to know that God is with them. However, due to many outside influences and internal struggles, there may be differences in each member’s beliefs, despite being raised the same way. These differences can lead to frustration and conflict if not addressed.

In Christian family counseling, the spiritual views of each family are heard and respected. The counselor then seeks to clarify sides, answer deep Biblical queries, and find ways for the family to actively grow together spiritually once more.

If it is your first time to try Christian family counseling, the following are some answers to very common questions about it.

Does it work?

Yes, it does. Christian family counseling can resolve many of the issues modern families are facing. But like in every problematic scenario, active involvement on the part of each member is necessary for the best results. However, if this is not possible, it should not be a hindrance for the others who wish to be healed of their hurts.

Do we meet separately or as a group?

The counseling sessions are more effective if everyone is altogether as members can voice opinions right there and then, and the sincerity and love can be seen and felt. But it still depends on the circumstances. Sometimes there may be individual meetings for some members if they are not yet ready to face the group. Your counselor knows how to best handle the situation.

Do children and teens really benefit from christian family counseling?

Yes, they do. Issues in the family usually have a direct effect on the children. Though the child or teen might not voice it out, something within has changed and is having negative effects on their behavior.

The Christian family counselor will speak directly to the child or teen to determine how the family problem is impacting them. As a neutral party, young children and teenagers are usually able to open up, knowing that what they say will be kept confidential. Should the child need individualized attention, as he or she may be dealing with other issues, the counselor may recommend Christian counseling for children or Christian counseling for teens.

Can I ask about my child’s counseling sessions?

As in all counseling circumstances, confidentiality is of utmost importance. If your child needs individual sessions, there are limitations as to what you may know about their progress. This is for their safety and privacy as an individual. The family counselor can go over your concerns about what can and cannot be discussed prior to your child’s sessions.

How much does family counseling cost?

Costs vary based upon the experience of the counselor. As in most professions, the more experienced ones have higher fees. Some counselors, however, do consider your economic situation and may offer sliding-scale options. It is best to talk with your insurance provider about what is covered. If you have other questions regarding finances, our friendly staff can answer your queries (see below).

Don’t let family issues get out of hand.Seek help soon.

If your family issues are too difficult to overcome, the skilled therapists at Los Angeles Christian Counseling can be of assistance. Feel free to view the online counselor profiles to find the right person to meet and then click here to schedule your risk-free initial session. Alternatively, you may speak first to our friendly office staff at (949) 386-7182 to obtain more information about what we offer.