Is Alcoholism Ruining Your Family Holidays?

If you have a family member who is addicted to alcohol or struggles with alcoholism, many of your holidays may have felt ruined by their behavior. Yet you can have a different holiday season this year with the objective and professional help available through Christian counseling.

Alcoholism affects every day of the year in negative ways. But it can put a huge burden on the holidays when family members gather, and tensions are on the rise. As a family member of an alcoholic, you deal with many fears and frustrations daily, and they may spike at Christmastime. You may have not considered the impact of alcoholism on your family gatherings until recently, and now you’re looking for help.

To know if alcoholism is ruining your holidays, see if you identify with any of these examples.

• You work hard to cover up your husband’s drinking problem in front of extended family members at holiday gatherings.
• Your sister sneaks alcohol into your family gathering, even when you’ve asked her not to drink in your home.
• As your brother continues to drink on Christmas, he gets louder and angrier. You fear what he may say or do and try to keep the peace at your parents’ home.
• When you show up at your parents’ home, you realize your father is already drunk. You brace yourself for his rude remarks and immerse yourself in the world of your phone.
• Halfway through your third plate of food, you realize you’re overeating to avoid talking to your alcoholic mother.
• You feel like the babysitter among your in-laws because they get drunk during holiday gatherings. You clean up the messes and keep a watchful eye on the children while your in-laws party.
• After lunch, you and your siblings go outside to discuss your father’s alcohol problem, complaining about it with fear and frustration, but not knowing how to solve the problem.
• The last time you saw your mother, you got into a loud fight over her drinking problem. You are worried about what things will be like when you see her this Christmas.

Alcoholism is a contributing factor in all these family problems. If any of these examples resonate with you, alcoholism may be ruining your holidays, but you can change the direction this year with help from a Christian counselor.

The Problem of Alcoholism

You may be surprised to know that alcoholism affects everyone in the family, not only the addict. Each family member plays a role in the problem of alcoholism. Yet family members are often too close to the problem to see the role they are playing in it. A counselor’s objective view can be invaluable in helping you form strategies to break the dysfunctional behavior cycles in your family.

Another problem with alcoholism is that it progresses over time. You may remember a time when your loved one didn’t drink or drank without getting drunk. The more a person builds up a tolerance to alcohol, the more they need to drink to feel high. Normally, men can handle two drinks per day, and women can handle one drink per day, without any problems. But alcoholics typically drink much more than this.

A person who suffers from alcohol may act very differently when drunk. In sober times, your addicted loved one may be warm, affectionate, friendly, and charming. But when drunk, they may blame, criticize, rage, cry, manipulate, or abuse others. You may have desperate hope that you’ll see your loved one’s “good” side this holiday, and fear seeing the “bad” side come out. This is a common problem in alcoholic families.

Alcohol addiction wreaks havoc on your loved one’s physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health, which compounds over time. This breakdown will spill over onto you unless you take strong measures to prevent it. Since problems in an alcoholic family are so complex, it’s in your best interest to seek the help you deserve from a professional counselor.

Alcoholic Families at Christmas

Family members of alcoholics respond in different ways during the holidays. Responses can range from denial, withdrawal, walking on eggshells, minimizing the problem, manipulation, passive-aggression, and angry outbursts. These responses are unhealthy, but they all enable the alcoholic and prolong the problems.

However, when family members set appropriate boundaries, the relationship dynamics can change for the better. Boundaries are healthy ways to protect yourself and communicate your needs to others. They are essential tools in forming healthier responses with your family members at Christmas.

You may be suffering from anxiety, depression, anger, and other negative emotions due to the dysfunctional dynamics in your alcoholic family. When you get help, you can inspire others to get help too. Even if no one else changes, you can make healthy changes for yourself and receive the freedom God promises to you in Galatians 5.

Christian Counseling for Alcoholic Families

Though you can’t force your alcoholic loved one to get help, you can get help for yourself. The healing can start with you when you seek group support, such as with Celebrate Recovery or Al-Anon, and receive individual counseling for yourself.

In meetings with support groups, you will learn that you aren’t alone in your family struggles at the holidays or any other time of the year. You’ll also get to see how people in other alcoholic families handle their problems and choose healthier paths out of the dysfunction. People who attend these meetings often make lasting friendships with other group members that can serve as a wonderful support system.

In individual therapy, your counselor can help you dig into the unique issues you face in your own family. Your counselor will work with you to form new strategies for managing your emotions and controlling your responses, as well as setting boundaries against negative behaviors.

The odds of an addict’s recovery greatly improve when all family members get outside help. But you can take the first step today for yourself, then invite your loved ones along later. If you see a Christian counselor now, you’ll be better prepared to handle the stress this Christmas, and you can move forward into the new year with greater hope.

Recovery for Alcoholic Families

Recovery is a long, challenging, yet deeply satisfying road for many alcoholic family members. Each person in the family is responsible for his or her own journey of recovery. This journey can start today for you as you seek help for the problems in your alcoholic family.

It’s scary to change behavior dynamics that have been in place for years in your family. Setting boundaries and preparing for conflict require courage and strength. God will help you in your fight for truth and health. Your counselor will also equip you for the changes you will face.

We know that if you are reading this article, your heart is hurting from the pain of being a member of an alcoholic family. This pain affects family members in different ways, and you may not have successfully managed it yourself in the past. If you approach the holidays with fear, dread, irritation, apathy, or hopelessness, the counselors at Los Angeles Christian Counseling are here to help you.

You need to gain a complete picture of what recovery looks like, so you know what to expect. A caring Christian counselor in Los Angeles can discuss the steps of recovery with you. You can be set free from the bondage you’ve experienced as a member of an alcoholic family. You can face the holidays with greater confidence if you book an appointment today.

If you’re ready to take the first step forward in redeeming your holidays from ruin, we’re ready to help you. Give us a call today at Los Angeles Christian Counseling. We are here to help you find hope and healing this Christmas season.