While some people dream about one day being married, others are not so sure if marriage is for them. Some people dive into marriage without much knowledge of their partner’s past and future interests, thinking that love is all they need to make a marriage last.
Then there are some people who marry thinking marriage is an easy route to escape their own family problems, while others never wish to be married and do not want to repeat their parent’s “mistake.” Given the broad range of opinions about marital commitment, does marriage still matter? If so, what is the purpose of marriage?
People at times see marriage as an old-fashioned tradition or custom that no longer matters. However, God has a beautiful purpose for marriage that still matters today! It is not a mistake that Jesus’ first miracle is the blessing of a marriage.
By making the blessing of a marriage His first miracle, Jesus not only reveals to us that He is the Son of God but also highlights the importance of marriage today. Through the marriage at Cana in the New Testament, a man and woman’s communion is blessed and their communion turns into one of the best wines of the times – a wine of life, prosperity, and everlasting love that still matters!
You may wonder, “What is the purpose of marriage?” The purpose of marriage is different for every couple. Some discover their purpose early in their marriage and other couples may take some time to discover the purpose of marriage. Therefore, comparing your own marriage to other marriages or comparing your parent’s marriage to yours will never be a helpful exercise. God has a special and unique purpose for your own marriage.
Regardless of what you might hear from an unhappily married person, or if you are unsure or unhappy and doubting marriage, marriage has always purpose! Many avoid marriage in fear of having to make such a long commitment and/or because they are uncertain about the purpose of marriage? Nevertheless, saying “I do” still matters today more than ever before.
Whether you are questioning marrying in the future or staying married after experiencing troubles in your marriage, know that when you say “I do” and marry under God’s promise, He will not only bless your communion but He will be there with you through good times and hard times.
God’s purpose for your marriage is perfect, unique, and more than you could ever imagine. For some marriages, one of God’s purposes may be to raise beautiful children with Christian values that will defend life over death. For others, God’s purpose may include helping you and your partner grow and work through your past troubles and pain, then for you to experience healing and truly enjoy marriage.
The world often portrays love as a choice, easy to access, without limits, and seeking self-pleasures. However, God has defined love between one woman and one man as kindness, acceptance, appreciation, selflessness, caring, loving the other person for who he or she is, patient, forgiving, and requiring trust in your partner and God when circumstances may be doubtful.
God’s definition of love does not include violence, abuse, control over your partner, sarcasm, jealousy, or infidelity. A married couple could stray from God’s purpose at any time simply because they are human.
Regardless of the time and whether you have been married for 1, 10, or 40 years, a marriage could easily get off track and lost in this world. It does not take much for a marriage to stop mattering if God is taken out of the equation. Thus, seeking Christian counseling is very important.
Through Christian marriage counseling, a couple could rediscover where their marriage has gone off track, work toward healing and redemption, and get their marriage back on track to fulfill God’s purpose.
Have you ever heard of marriages that have survived an affair or other difficult situations? Many couples who experience extreme hardship testify that their marriage has strengthened after being critically broken. Christian marriage counselors often have the privilege of witnessing these ongoing testimonies.
Often during an affair or other difficult situation destroying a marriage, one partner steps out of the marriage to avoid dealing with the struggles they face with their partner. However, they usually realize that the affair or other destructive behavior brings negative consequences, more struggles, and countless losses.
These terrible situations make each spouse take a closer look at themselves and ways in which their own behavior toward each other could improve. Some may say that this is like a wake-up call in their marriage and requires God’s intercession to ignite new love.
If you are not yet married, be sure to participate in Christian premarital counseling. It will save you a lot of headaches and prepare you for Jesus’ first miracle and the challenges the world will present. Although suffering is part of life, inviting God into your marriage makes a huge difference. When you purposely invite God into your marriage, your marriage becomes stronger – so strong that it could overcome the world’s worst troubles.
At times it is recommended for spouses to temporarily separate from each other in situations where the relationship has become so inundated with the world’s lies that the marriage is toxic and destructive. At other times, separation is required to prevent additional violence among family members when there is no other alternative. Remember, your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and you must take care of your body, mind, and soul.
Christian marriage counseling could help you identify whether your marriage is aligned with God’s purpose. If necessary, couples therapy could help you set a plan in place to get your marriage back on track. Couples often think that they both need to attend counseling sessions to save their marriage.
Although it is good and helpful to have both partners attending counseling, at times having one person participating in individual counseling to address his or her struggles could also help save a marriage.
In order to love someone else, you first need to love yourself and take care of your own troubles before attempting to rescue someone else or your marriage. Your marriage’s purpose could be defined or redefined throughout the year. At times when one person is not walking near God, couples may consider a temporary or permanent separation to avoid further violence or abuse.
“Wedding Bands”, Courtesy of Sandy Millar, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; For individuals who separate from their spouse for life and safety situations, individual counseling and support programs may be necessary. However, it is essential to understand that just because a married couple separates, it does not mean that you could not continue praying for your partner’s well-being, and finding healthy ways to co-parent your children, avoid future abuse and hurt, and begin standing for God’s purpose in your life and marriage.
Marriage is a piece of art at work. God seeks perfection in your marriage, so marriage will require time, attention, kindness, patience, forgiveness, and acceptance of each other’s flaws. God’s purpose is for a married couple to become one. At times, becoming one may look like letting go of distractions and/or people who attempt to separate you from your significant other.
These distractions could take many shapes or forms and learning how to increase your awareness through Christian counseling could help you value your family and have a clear understanding of God’s purpose for your marriage and life.
Does marriage still matter? Yes! Marriage continues to matter to God. Marriage is not an old fashioned tradition, nor is it a “happily ever after” fairytale as portrayed in the movies. Through Christian marriage counseling, you will discover God’s purpose for your marriage. More than ever before, we need to defend marriages where love, respect, appreciation, forgiveness, kindness, patience, and acceptance are valued and practiced.
Invite God to be at the center of each decision, struggle, and happy event you come across in your marriage. God is a healing God; He has the power and ability to restore your family! God has a perfect purpose for your marriage. I invite you to schedule a counseling appointment today to discover the true purpose of marriage.
“Kissing on a Rock”, Courtesy of Nathan Dumlao, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Watching the Sunset”, Courtesy of Arnel Hasanovic, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Love”, Courtesy of Shanique Wright, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Wedding Bands”, Courtesy of Sandy Millar, Unsplash.com, CC0 License